World’s Fastest Beta Test?

I emailed our doctor the news of the HPT this morning around 7.45am – he replied by 8.00am – feel free to come in for a Blood test ASAP – we were at the hospital by 9.10am – out by 9.30am.

Got the results at 12pm.

860! Yikes!

Sounds like a good number to me. He has now instructed me to relax, stop obsessing, continue taking the meds and come for a scan in mid-to-late January, around the 6-7 week mark.

What a MAD DAY.

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12dp5dt – test day

  
I can’t believe it!

I was convinced my period was on its way. Convinced. I didn’t want to look at the test this morning. Now….this. I know we have an enormously long way to go but I am going to allow myself to be excited today. This is a fantabulouciously good start!

Now I need to convince my doctor to give me a blood test. They usually don’t, but given my previous history I think he’ll agree to it. If not, I’ll go to one of those walk-in clinic things. I need to know if the number (whatever it may be) is going in he right direction.

Until then….arrrggghhg! 😀

9dp5dt – Doctor Google will see you now

The last 24 hours have been pants. I slept badly – mad progesterone dreams, cramps (real or dream cramps, I do not know) and hot flushes (perhaps caused by my mum’s central heating system or my internal heating system, I also do not know). Gross TMI alert – I’ve also been having some pinkish/brown spotting, mainly noticeable at fanny bullet time. I’m worried. It really does feel like my period is on its way. Anyway I am now on obsessive knicker watch which is really not good for one’s mental health, especially when one is still staying at one’s mother’s house.

Looking forward to getting back home to London soon so I can pee on a stick in the privacy of my own bathroom on Thursday morning. I’m pretty convinced that this cycle hasn’t worked out. I know my body and I’ve been here 5 times before….signs are not good. I’m terrified at the prospect of more bad news.

Obviously I have been madly Googling ‘9d5dt’, ‘spotting’, ‘dreams’ and all the usual palaver. If you are reading this blog because you Googled something similar please rest assured that you WILL find BFP/BFN news on this site very soon. Seriously folks, what is wrong with people who post symptoms/questions/worries on forums and blogs and DON’T close the loop?! I need to know if ‘Babydust77’ got a BFP after her 9dp5dt brown discharge and cramps! I need to know if ‘Stickyvibesgirl’ got a BFP after experiencing bleeding and bad dreams! As all obsessive IVF Googlers know, living vicariously through the lives of others is the only way to get through the 2ww….

8dp5dt – not feeling it

Here I am at 8dp5dt (8 days past a 5 day egg transfer) and I’m feeling pretty good. Good, ie, completely  normal.

I’ve decided I do not like bloggers who say ‘I’m worried because I have NO symptoms at all apart from sore boobs, headaches, cramps, implantation bleeding, ‘tingly’ nipples’, dizziness, hot flushes’etc.  Those are all pretty good ‘symptoms’ in IVF land dammit. I really do have nothing. NOTHING!

I know that plenty of women get a symptom-less BFP. I would just really, really like a nice ovarian twinge or two. To let me know that something is happening down there. 

My clinic is being very cautious and has asked me to test at 12dp5dt (Thursday), which I will do. In the meantime I will continue to descend into full on 2ww  meltdown mode 😐. Is craving a large gin and tonic a symptom?

4dp5dt – All Quiet on the Uterus Front

In classic IVF blog tradition I thought I would chart my ‘symptoms’ as I claw my way towards test day – 31 January. Yep, that’s right, I will do a pregnancy test the morning of new year’s eve. Hmm.

Today’s symptoms:

Nada, zilch, zero, nothing

I feel completely fine and normal. I’m having crazy progesterone fueled dreams but aside from that – nothing. I’m on 3 x cyclogest pessaries (fanny bullets) a day, so no surprise that my brain is playing cruel tricks on me.

This cycle has felt a little strange because obviously I didn’t stim or do an egg collection.  I don’t have the mega-boobs I usually get after the trigger shot. I just feel….fine.

More to follow! I am definitely, definitely not going to test early this time. Definitely, definitely, definitely.

 

Ok, I take some of it back….

Made it back to London in one piece with husband carrying ALL the luggage (including 4 bottle of Rioja, a large bottle of olive oil and assorted Spanish knickknacks). Well I am PUPO after all. I must take it easy. In fact, I don’t think I should even make a cup of tea. Better if he does that for me for the next 10 days or so.

Arrived home to an email from the Madrid clinic. 4 of the slow little blighters sped up over the last 24 hours and we now have 4 blastocysts in the freezer. Grading 4AB, 4BB, 5BB and 5BB. So, it’s not quite as bad as I first thought. I probably didn’t need to have a tantrum yesterday. Oh well.

Anyway it’s good to know we have a back up plan if this cycle fails. I almost wish we didn’t know the ‘grading’ – the numbers are annoying me. A quick Google search revealed women who got pregnant from all sorts of embryos including non-blastocysts, never mind 4AB, 5AB, 5BB and all that carry on. The numbers are twisting my melon, man.

Well – back to normality (ie, obsessive ‘symptom’ googling) for the next couple of weeks. Nice to be back in London with our little plastic Christmas tree and mince pie supply. Thanks for all the support so far ladies xx

 

 

 

 

Feeling irrationally annoyed and a bit disappointed

Sorry in advance for the mini-vent.

We had our egg transfer this morning – everything went fine, they transferred 2 embryos – 1 x 5BB and 1 x 5AC.

Out of our 9 successfully fertilised embryos, 2 were ready for transfer today (blastocysts, see above), and there are 4 are currently classified as ‘early blastocysts’. The other 3 are bust. The clinic will wait until tomorrow to see if any of these are suitable for freezing.According to the doctor, we could have between 0 and 4.

I know I’m going to sound like a whiny cow here but I feel annoyed. I really hoped (believed) that using an egg donor would produce fantastic embryos. I felt sure that we’d have at least 2 perfect embryos by day 5. And yet….here we are with 2 ‘ok’ embryos (5BB and 5AC are the worst I’ve ever had on a transfer day…and this is my 6th, yes, 6th transfer). Worse still, I’m worried we’ll have none left for the freezer tomorrow. ‘Early blastocyst’ does not bode well. If they aren’t fully formed by day 5 then they are slow and therefore suck.

How did we start off with 12 eggs and end up here?

This isn’t my usual modus operandi. We’ve always done really well at fertilisation/growth/getting to blastocyst. I’m not used to a puny 1:6 ratio.

Anyway I realise I am being slightly irrational because obviously  her eggs are better than mine (given that she is 15 years younger) and obviously the main thing is that I get pregnant. One of my most hated phrases in IVF (along with ‘baby dust’ and ‘sticky vibes’) is IT ONLY TAKES ONE. I know it only takes one. I’m just gutted because after all the time, money and effort I truly hoped that I’d be feeling happy on day 5. Instead I feel annoyed, frustrated and totally over it all.

I’ll update tomorrow with news from the freezer. I’m not hopeful unfortunately.