A stressful evening – 5+5 weeks

Yesterday was not a great day. I had quite painful ovarian ‘twinges’ throughout the day and a general heavy feeling down below.  Akin to period pain. I decided to have an  early night. Bedtime ‘knicker watch’ revealed….bleeding. Well, a reasonably small amount of brown blood. Cue panic.

I emailed our doctor for some advice around 10pm and didn’t sleep a wink thereafter. I was either in the bathroom checking on the bleeding situation (brownish discharge, TMI I know – apologies), or lying awake in the dark, mentally preparing for another miscarriage. I cried. I prodded my boobs and assessed their size. They don’t hurt as much as they did a week ago and they’ve shrunk a bit. I must have nodded off because I dreamt I bled all over the bed. I didn’t of course. Basically 6 hours of total mental anguish.

5.30am the phone pinged – our doctor. I cannot explain how much I love our doctor. He is the most responsive, wonderful, kind, workaholic gynaecologist in the world. He asked us to be at the hospital for 8am. Yep, the man is doing emails at 5.30am on a Saturday morning. He is a saint.

I trembled in the stirrups this morning. I fully expected him to see nothing – no sac, an empty womb. After 5 cycles of IVF I know my body well and I just felt ‘wrong’ last night.

Well, I was wrong. Straight away he spotted the sac – or sacs. Yes, twins. And they are exactly the size they should be for 5 weeks and 5 days. No blood clot, no haematoma, no visible problems. Just a bit of apparently ‘normal’ bleeding associated with implantation (especially with twins). No heartbeats yet, we’re too early for that. Enormous relief. Now we just need to make it to week 7 and the next scan, and the scan after that, and after that, and after that. I’m relieved but we’re not allowing ourselves to get excited. Kind of sad, I know.

Infertility has turned me into a nervous wreck. I know I need to look on the bright side and concentrate on ‘positive visualisations’. I’m really going to try to do that, I just wish my body would make it a bit easier for me. I can’t handle the bleeding, it’s messing with my mind. Hopefully it will go away soon, the doc thinks it will. I am STILL PREGNANT TODAY and that is all that matters. I need to re-read my ‘Mindfulness’ book and do some (gentle) yoga this afternoon. After a long nap.

 

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19 thoughts on “A stressful evening – 5+5 weeks

  1. workingwomensivf says:

    I am 16 weeks with twins and spotted from 4-8 weeks, I haves since had a few bigger bleeds but babies are 100percent fine. Hang in there it is tough and so stressful but is more common with twins! Anyway I am here if there is anything I can do to help!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Emma says:

    Sorry you had a bad night. I’m also pregnant with IVF twins – 19 weeks tomorrow. The cramping is surprisingly normal. You get these painful little sharp stretchy pains for minutes, then they usually pass. Unless you are bleeding bright red, I would try not to worry too much. I’ve even known girls who had a big gush of bright red blood and no problems, baby was fine. It’s good to stay cautious until you’ve seen the heartbeats. I waited until 8 weeks for my first scan and it was great. My twins looked like little Casper the friendly ghosts! Adorable. I really wish you the best of luck. I promise the fear is worst from now until 10 weeks, then it starts to dissipate a bit. I know nit everyone agrees with them, but I have a home Doppler and have been listening to both my babies heartbeats from around 10 weeks. It’s been a god send for me.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Babyscienceproject says:

      ‘Sharp and stretchy’ describes it exactly! How bizarre. I think if I bought a home Doppler it might take over my life….probably not a good idea in my case, I’m already a neurotic mess! let’s see if I eat my words if I make it that far 🙂

      Like

  3. missbeckymuz says:

    I had the same brown spotting at around 6-7 weeks and panicked just the same! A little hospital visit and scan later showed a healthy little blob and ‘totally normal implantation bleeding’. I am now 21 weeks and (other than falling over this week and needing another hospital trip!) all has been great. Twins are an amazing blessing – here is a happy healthy pregnancy 😊

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Nara says:

    Congratulations on twins! It sounds very stressful but it sounds like it happens more with twins. I hope that the bleeding stops and that you get through your next scan with sanity intact! Sending you hugs x

    Liked by 1 person

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