8dp5dt – negative

Tested this morning…. one pink line, not a hint of a second. It was an FRER so I’m pretty confident it would have picked up HCG if there was any to pick up at this stage.

I’m disappointed and sad. This is our last cycle with my eggs and really our last chance to have a baby that is biologically ours. It feels like a loss, maybe even a bereavement.

Thursday is my official test date so I’ll test again even though I know it’s a bust. Wow, I am thoroughly sick of IVF stuff.

8dp5dt – here comes the fear

Today is 8dp5dt and I’m a psychotic wreck. My ‘symptoms’  feel 100% like AF is on her way… a heavy feeling down below, ovary twinges and a large zit on my forehead. I’m on regular knicker watch every 15 minutes or so. I’m in Zurich on a business trip today so I’m sure my colleagues must think I have diahorrea or something. If AF arrives whilst I’m here I think I’m going to have a nervous breakdown.

Anyway, God grant me the serenity to accept the things… etc etc etc.

I just want to get back to London so I can obsessively knicker watch in the privacy of my own home. 2 more sleeps until this 2ww hell is over… wish I felt a bit more optimistic.