7dp5dt – today is my birthday, tomorrow is my test day

….yikes. I’m dreading it.

My official test date isn’t until Thursday (10dp5dt) but I have the day off work tomorrow. I’d rather POAS without having to go to the office for the rest of the day, so…. tomorrow it is.

I’m not feeling optimistic. I wish I was, but I’m not. So today I am trying to put it all to the back of mind and focus on the good things in life, namely:

  • Today is my birthday and I’ve had so many nice presents, cards and good wishes from all over the world
  • My wonderful, funny, kind and handsome husband who I love very much and who loves me whether or not I am pregnant (ever)
  • My one-of-a-kind family including two grandparents who are still very much alive and kicking in their late 80s – and my extended family in New Zealand. I’m lucky to have them all.
  • My amazing friends around the world – all of whom I admire and am massively proud of
  • My job – which I love
  • My health – I’m alive! I’m reasonably slim! I still have all my own hair and teeth!
  • I live in London, one of the best cities in the world, and I never, ever get tired of it. Even when it’s raining and full of tourists.

I’ll report back tomorrow. Until then…..f*ck you home pregnancy test!

Another Spin of the Wheel of Fortune

wheelof4

People loved the idea of a ‘wheel of fortune’ back in the Middle Ages – ‘Rota Fortunae’ – I wrote a paper about it once. What comes up, must go down. The fickle finger of fate. Well,  we’ve decided to have one more spin of the wheel with my own eggs. Maybe I’m daft – I don’t know. At the moment that’s me in blue, getting squashed by the wheel (see picture above).

Our consultant was very keen for us to try again. He said our last cycle was exemplary – 7 eggs, 7 fertilised, 7 blastocysts. If we can replicate similar success again he thinks we have a reasonable (1 in 4’ish) chance of it working. Back in the day I probably would have felt excited. This time I did not – it’s impossible to say the last cycle was ‘exemplary’ when it didn’t work!  Anyway, I need to stop thinking like that. If we’re going to do this I need to think positive and upgrade the PMA.

We’re going away in June so I’m going to wait until early July to start the next cycle. Same short protocol as last time….and I’m going to start taking DHEA too. I’m not sure it will make any difference in 7 weeks but I guess it’s worth a try. I’m also still on CoQ10 and all the other stuff. And – I’m going to try a high protein, low carb diet. This study suggests it’s well worth a try.

Do I need my head testing? Possibly. Am I going to get my hopes up again? Definitely. Is this our very last time trying with our own eggs? HAS to be.

We’ve been at the bottom of the wheel for the last 12 months, the only way is up right?